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The Worst of the Worst at the Frankfurt Auto Show

Offroad Test Track Frankfurt

Pictured: not something boring. Offroad test track at the Frankfurt Auto Show

As everyone knows, the Frankfurt Auto Show in Germany kicked off this week, and dozens of auto manufacturers unveiled new production models and a bevy of concept cars. We’ve already covered the C-X17 SUV concept from Jaguar, the 850hp S-Class from Brabus, and (sort of) previewed the Audi A3 Cabriolet by talking about its upcoming 300hp big brother. Those are just a few of the many, many cars unmasked at Frankfurt, but how is one to sift through them all?  I’m glad you possibly asked this question, because we here at Downshift Autos have a built-in filter that doesn’t allow the inclusion of boring cars. Don’t believe me? Have you seen an article about the imminent release of the 2014 Toyota Corolla? No, I won’t waste my breath calling the Corolla a lazy piece of crap completely out of touch with reality whose target audience is a group of people who don’t mind spending $18,000 on an appliance that they spent no time researching at all. That won’t stop me from tagging “2014 toyota corolla” at the end of this post, though. In any case, I’ll start with a few cars that were announced at Frankfurt that really aren’t worth writing about, and then we’ll get to the good stuff in our next article.

At a press conference likely attended by hyperventilating journalists, Nissan unveiled the new Rogue, and the big news is it now has a third row. I’ve been seated in the back row of a current Rogue, and the two-row CUV has just enough room to store a basket of muffins in the trunk as it is. Nissan marketing will probably tout that there are similarities between the Rogue and GT-R, they just won’t mention that commonalities stop at the back row, as only small children and gimps can be forced into the rear seats.

Nissan X-Trail Rogue

Nissan Rogue, now with added gimp action!

As usual, Mansory debuted another modified supercar called the La Revoluzione in what appears to be a brazen mockery of Ferrari. The tuner lets the Prancing Italians know exactly what it thinks of their F12berlinetta by taking a massive dump all over their previously gorgeous supercar, and there wasn’t enough sawdust in Frankfurt to mop up the public’s reaction. Avert your eyes children, no matter what Mansory wants you to believe, there is still beauty in the world.

Mansory La Revoluzione

“Hrrnnggg…BLEGHHH!” – The Public expresses its love for the La Revoluzione

Mercedes’ Smart division has finally unveiled a new car in the form of the Fourjoy concept that previews the upcoming Forfour. It probably won’t come to America because Fiat rules the cool small car market, and Smart is practically dead here anyway. It didn’t help that Smart was never able to figure out who the Fortwo was for, and it is unlikely that they can convince Americans that the Smart Forfour is for us either.

smart fourjoy

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About Cameron Rogers

Cameron Rogers is the founder and lead writer at Downshift Autos, the only automotive blog on the Internet*. Born in the back of an AMC Gremlin, Cameron vowed to never let this extraordinarily embarrassing detail define him, so help him God. He drives a GTI but absolutely will not shut up about it if somebody asks. He will not hesitate to let people know that no, they shouldn't get a Porsche 911 when a Morgan 3 Wheeler is so obviously the superior choice. He is obsessed with the seats of a Carrera GT and the steering wheel of a Fisker Karma. He once sat in the driver's seat of a Tesla Model S, his greatest accomplishment to date. He is just now realizing that writing an autobiography, however miniscule, in the third person is odd and unnerving. *As of this writing, Cameron has been informed that there are, in fact, many websites and blogs centered around cars and car culture. He regrets his grievous error.

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