Four Cars You Won’t Believe Are Still For Sale Today
Sometimes, there are cars that are so uninspiring and anonymous that both the automaker and general public forgets they exist. The Chrysler PT Cruiser is a great example of a car that sold like gangbusters when it first premiered, and then soldiered on for a whopping decade before it was finally put out of its misery Old Yeller style. Here are four cars that you can still go to your local dealership and buy brand new and still in the packaging. I just don’t recommend doing so.
Ah, the ZDX. It’s one of the easiest targets in the world, but not without good reason. Most people hate the strange, alien design (I happen to like it), but the back seat is unusable for anyone over four feet, as the extreme rake of the roofline cuts severely into rear headroom. I worked my way into one for fun at an auto show, and it really is as dismal as described. The high bench seats don’t do the back any favors, and trunk space is similarly limited. The driver’s seat isn’t bad, but the center stack still reeks of old school Acura button puke. Sales of the ZDX are halved year to year, so it isn’t surprising that the ZDX will see the axe in 2014, but one can still theoretically buy a $50,000 barely usable SUV with zero practicality if they so desire. The ZDX is the first Acura penned by their California design team, and it would have been a solid effort if it stayed a concept car that never actually made it to production.
BMW 5 Series GT
Only rabid BMW fans that absolutely need a 5 Series wagon give this car a second glance that isn’t a look of abject horror. The GT is a Chevrolet Malibu Maxx for retired bankers who wear high end Casio watches. From far away, they look sort of alright, but when you get up close the total lack of originality and cheapness just overwhelms the senses and a fine day is ruined. The 5 Series GT has spawned the similarly styled but smaller 3 Series GT, like that one time that mutant child you have chained up in the attic reproduced asexually and now you have two offspring that still exist but you don’t want to acknowledge.
Time to give credit where credit is due. The Compass single-handedly transformed the Jeep brand forever. No longer would General Motors’ truck brand be encumbered with the stigma of producing stellar off-road vehicles with questionable quality and roadgoing behavior. Now, with the advent of the Compass CUV, all the worst aspects of the Jeep brand were combined with the engine of a Dodge Avenger and interior trim hard enough to legally classify as military-grade body armor. A 2011 facelift made the Compass look like less of a turgid swamp of wretchedness and merely a marsh of despair.
Honda Accord Crosstour
One look at the Crosstour is all it takes to understand why the tall wagon sells in record low numbers. The problem with this bulbous Accord is that it primarily only appeals to the visually impaired, a demographic that historically buys relatively few cars. Its teardrop profile accurately recreates the saline liquid running down the face of every new buyer upon signing purchasing paperwork. Its apathy toward the driver is reflected by the car buying public’s refusal to buy such a bloated turd.
There are many more cars still on sale today that should have been put out to pasture long ago (hi there, Mitsubishi Galant and Nissan Cross Cabriolet!), but I simply don’t have the energy to continue (which I typically measure in LBUs, or Lewis Black Units). Let me know what we missed in the comments section.